Throughout my career, my workplace experience was a mix of challenging attitudes and welcoming diversity. While some individuals displayed barely-concealed racist disdain, I found a supportive network among my international colleagues. Joel P. burst into our office like a breath of fresh air, loudly searching for me with an enthusiastic, “Hello? Is anyone here? I’m looking for Natalie!”

His energy was infectious, and I was accustomed to the surprise on the faces of those who discovered I was Black. Domestic colleagues often reacted with disbelief, but with my global coworkers, the reception was more positive. Joel quickly introduced himself with an eagerness that was refreshing. He immediately charmed everyone with his vibrant personality and knack for remembering details from previous conversations, even as he navigated our busy office.

Joel was unlike any Chinese colleague I had met before. At about 5’6”, he was slender and wiry, not conventionally attractive but undeniably engaging. His personality set him apart from the quieter engineers and officials I typically encountered. His lively demeanor stood out against a backdrop of conservative coworkers who found my colorful attire shocking. I could sense the buzz of gossip about Joel as soon as he left the suite.

Lunchtime often saw Joel in my office chair, excitedly asking, “Where can we eat, Natalie? My treat!” His enthusiasm drew in our white colleagues, Nicole and Cindy, as we headed out together. At an upscale Italian restaurant, Joel’s humor shone through. He joked about his insatiable appetite after devouring a massive pork chop and asking for dessert, demonstrating a self-awareness that made him a delight to be around.

When I invited him to a Black Professional Association meeting, I tried to prepare him for the predominantly Black crowd. To my surprise, Joel showed no hesitation, readily agreeing to join me. The event was lavish, and I watched as Joel effortlessly mingled with different groups, showcasing his charisma. When he unexpectedly took the microphone to speak, the audience responded with laughter and applause, clearly amused by his genuine enthusiasm.

On another occasion, I introduced him to a Detroit culinary classic—the coney dog. As I guided him through the experience, he humorously acknowledged the potential digestive repercussions. He dove into the meal without hesitation, showcasing his adventurous spirit.

Midweek, during a busy work period, I found myself enjoying dinners and outings with Joel and my more introverted coworkers. Even our director, Nicole, who usually kept to herself, seemed more sociable around him. As we played Wii at her house, Joel’s playful nature shone, and we all bonded over laughter and friendly competition.

What impressed me most about Joel was his effortless ability to make connections. Unlike others who clung to my white colleagues, he treated me as an equal, engaging with me genuinely. This was a refreshing change from previous experiences with foreign visitors who maintained distance due to racial biases.

One weekend, Joel expressed his excitement about visiting the art museum. Together, we marveled at Diego Rivera’s Detroit Industry Murals, with him passionately sharing his art history knowledge. His appreciation for the artwork was palpable, and he even grabbed my hand, drawing curious glances from onlookers.

As we continued our adventures, a young colleague named Melissa eagerly joined us for a tour of downtown Detroit. Yet, when Joel expressed a desire to see areas often associated with stereotypes, it highlighted the misconceptions that still lingered in our society. I took the opportunity to address these biases, sharing my own experiences with prejudice and how stereotypes often misrepresent reality.

Joel listened intently, sharing his insights into the cultural differences we faced. He described how his upbringing shaped his views, and I realized how much we could learn from one another. His openness about his past experiences in Paris, where he faced discrimination, allowed us to connect on a deeper level.

Through our conversations, I recognized that Joel had a unique perspective on race and identity. We both discovered that our backgrounds had influenced our perceptions but that personal connections could transcend those barriers. By embracing our differences, we formed a friendship that defied expectations.

Joel and I spent countless evenings together, enjoying each other’s company without any romantic undertones. He became a true friend, sharing stories about his life and family, while I welcomed him into my world. The playful dynamic we shared was a testament to the bond we had forged, one built on mutual respect and understanding.

After he returned to his travels, I received thoughtful gifts from him every year before my birthday, a testament to the lasting impact of our friendship. His gestures reflected the kindness of his culture, while my gifts embodied the spirit of my own.

Since that pivotal experience with Joel, I have come to appreciate the complexity of individuals from different backgrounds. I now recognize that preconceived notions often cloud our perceptions, and with a little effort, we can uncover the richness of human connection that lies beneath.

If you liked this story, you might also like to read Part I.