Humour is a distinctly human characteristic. It fosters connections, provides mental respite, and enhances emotional intelligence. Moreover, it plays a vital role in making life enjoyable; without it, our reflective minds might recognize life's absurdities and succumb to boredom, apathy, and fatalism.

Joking is a principal expression of humour (other forms include satire, slapstick, and funny imagery) and merits serious contemplation. Research on this topic exists, and you can find insights in this article and similar resources.

The Challenge Over time, I've noticed that the reception of jokes is often unpredictable. Surprisingly, even those who aren't overly sensitive can find certain jokes unpalatable. Common reasons include feeling slighted, misrepresented, or offended on behalf of others—friends, family, colleagues, etc.

Unfortunately, some individuals misuse humour as a tool for superiority, cleverness, or revenge. Such instances are disheartening, as humour is one of our most graceful gifts.

Thus, I aimed to discover what constitutes a healthy, life-affirming joke.

(Before diving into this topic, I inadvertently drafted my observations, which align with two positive humour styles identified by psychologists—**affiliative and self-enhancing*. I don't find value in the other two styles—aggressive and self-defeating—and they were absent from my reflections. I question the merits of including these negative types in discussions about humour, as they may be more relevant to other aspects of human psychology [pun intended].)*

Patterns in Jokes To distinguish harmless jokes, I first needed to grasp the fundamentals of humour. After analyzing hundreds of jokes, here’s what I found:

Observation #1 At its core, every joke can be distilled into a sentence, despite the setup, context, and assumed knowledge involved.

(Recall that every sentence consists of a **subject* (the actor or experiencer; essential), a verb (the action or state; essential), an object (the recipient of the action; optional), and a preposition or dependent/independent clause (which adds detail about the subject, object, action, or state; optional). See below for examples.)*

Observation #2 Every subject and object type can be part of a joke.

Observation #3 The humour in jokes arises from, in decreasing order of frequency—dependent/independent clauses, prepositions, action verbs, and state verbs.

In essence, the context of the action or state of the subject/object typically elicits laughter, with the action or state itself being the next most common source of humour.

Observation #4 Jokes create a sense of confusion or tension in the mind, which is then resolved through a punchline or evident conclusion, releasing feel-good endorphins. This confusion is crafted through intentional misdirection, distortion, and induced mistakes.

Patterns in Positive Jokes Next, I examined around 500 light-hearted and inoffensive jokes. Here are twenty examples:

1. What is the opposite of a croissant? A happy uncle.
2. Which military branch accepts toddlers? The infantry.
3. I have a joke about time travel, but I’m not going to share it. You didn’t like it.
4. Got a PS5 for my little brother. Best trade I’ve ever made!
5. I finally decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. It was just gathering dust!
6. You know there’s no official training for trash collectors? They just pick things up as they go.
7. Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.
8. What’s ET short for? Because he’s got little legs.
9. Never criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away and have their shoes.
10. I used to be addicted to soap. But I’m clean now.
11. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
12. Exaggerations have become an epidemic. They went up by a million percent last year.
13. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
14. Two cows are grazing in a field. One cow says, "You ever worry about mad cow disease?" The other cow says, "Why would I care? I’m a helicopter!"
15. I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me.
16. Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu—you get what you deserve.
17. Is it ignorance or apathy that’s destroying the world today? I don’t know, and I don’t really care.
18. Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon? It had great food, but no atmosphere.
19. I’ve been trying to form a sarcastic club, but it’s hard to tell if people want to join.
20. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don’t serve food here."

Upon careful study of these positive jokes, I identified several patterns.

Top 5 Subjects and Objects in Positive Jokes 1. Ourselves (self, collective us, family, friends, etc.) 2. Authority figures (teachers, doctors, scientists, parents, God, etc.) 3. Animals 4. Anthropomorphized objects 5. Famous historical or fictional characters

Top 5 Actions and States in Positive Jokes 1. Action: Tell (as said, shared, etc.) 2. Action: Ask (as heard, known, etc.) 3. State: Being 4. State: Madness 5. State: Defective

Top 5 Common Prepositions/Clauses in Positive Jokes This is crucial. While the previous two sets are broadly applicable, wholesome jokes typically employ these five techniques to generate tension and confusion.

1. Misdirection (of meanings and states)
2. Distortion (most frequently of words)
3. Irony
4. Contrast
5. Exaggeration

There are countless enjoyable jokes, but by combining the three lists above, we can create or evaluate up to 125 combinations of subjects/objects, actions/states, and contexts for crafting or assessing our good-natured jokes.

Examples of Positive Jokes - Our children serve as great subjects for light-hearted humour since we all love them and can poke fun at them for the chaos they bring. For instance, my daughter dislikes chikoos (a fruit popular in India), so I joke about it being her favorite fruit or claim, "Today is the day you fall in love with chikoos!" or note how they agree to something other than their beloved Dominos pizza on Friday nights just to be kind to their weary parents.

• Accepted quirks of family and friends can be humorously exaggerated. For example, “You, my friend, are such a foodie that the only reason you exercise is to eat more!” or “Our colleague makes mundane tasks seem like monumental achievements that investors would pour millions into based on his announcements!”
• Situational humour also works well. For example, “India is now in a club with its sworn enemies Pakistan and China, abstaining from condemning Russia for its actions in Ukraine!” or “My document filing system is so secure that even I can’t find what I need!”
• Movies and TV shows provide fertile ground for gentle jokes. For instance, “So many characters are being killed off in Game of Thrones that soon no one will be left to rule!” or “I’ve nicknamed the romantic series I watch with my wife ‘Sickly-sweet’.”
• Famous personalities, whether living or deceased, are a treasure trove for clean humour. For example, “The IQ of the Gandhi family has steadily declined from Nehru to Indira to Rajeev, reaching zero with Rahul!” or “Trump might deport ‘Red Indians’ to India, making Columbus right after 430 years!”
• Plants and inanimate objects can also elicit gentle laughter. For example, “I call our money plant a ‘glorified weed’ because it thrives on plain water and minimal light!” or “There’s a black hole in our home where staplers, erasers, rulers, nail clippers, etc., mysteriously disappear.”

I often lean towards anthropomorphism, exaggeration, and irony in the wholesome jokes I tell. What about you?

Mapping Jokes to Patterns To illustrate, I've categorized our sample jokes according to the patterns identified:

1. What is the opposite of a croissant? A happy uncle. — Anthropo-being-distortion
2. Which military branch accepts toddlers? The infantry. — Ourselves-tell-distortion
3. I have a joke about time travel, but I’m not going to share it. You didn’t like it. — Ourselves-tell-misdirection
4. Got a PS5 for my little brother. Best trade I’ve ever made! — Ourselves-tell-misdirection
5. I finally decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. It was just gathering dust! — Anthropo-tell-distortion/irony
6. You know there’s no official training for trash collectors? They just pick things up as they go. — Authority figure-tell-distortion/irony
7. Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it. — Animal-ask-misdirection
8. What’s ET short for? Because he’s got little legs. — Famous person-ask/defective-misdirection
9. Never criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away and have their shoes. — Ourselves-tell-misdirection
10. I used to be addicted to soap. But I’m clean now. — Ourselves-tell/defect-irony
11. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells. — Anthropo-tell/defect-distortion
12. Exaggerations have become an epidemic. They went up by a million percent last year. — Ourselves-tell-exaggeration
13. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. — Authority figure-tell/being-contrast
14. Two cows are grazing in a field. One cow says, "You ever worry about mad cow disease?" The other cow says, "Why would I care? I’m a helicopter!" — Animal-tell/defect-misdirection
15. I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me. — Ourselves-tell/defect-misdirection
16. Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu—you get what you deserve. — Place-ask-irony
17. Is it ignorance or apathy that’s destroying the world today? I don’t know, and I don’t really care. — Ourselves-ask-misdirection/irony
18. Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon? It had great food, but no atmosphere. — Place-ask-misdirection/irony
19. I’ve been trying to form a sarcastic club, but it’s hard to tell if people want to join. — Ourselves-tell-irony
20. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don’t serve food here." — Anthropo-tell-distortion/irony

What to Avoid for Positive Jokes Jokes possess remarkable power. They can transform moods, shape perceptions, and forge connections and beliefs.

Jokes that are clean and uplifting for everyone do not make anyone feel uncomfortable or promote negative behaviour toward others.

Nice jokes are beneficial because they avoid: 1. Insults and discouragement 2. Bigotry and discrimination 3. Aggression and violence 4. Sexual references 5. Profanity 6. Fatalism, apathy, hopelessness, and defeatism

If a joke seems distasteful or negative, we can quickly identify the reasons using these anti-patterns, which helps us refine our wholesome humour.

Conclusion While joking should be spontaneous and not overly artificial, we possess the capacity for reflective thought. Wisdom lies not just in being clever, but in being thoughtfully clever. Humour, like any other positive human trait, serves essential psychological and social functions, and we can always enhance it.

Do note; humour is not an exact science. Despite these guidelines, one can still unintentionally offend. Recognizing this boundary is an art and skill worth developing, grounded in emotional intelligence that stems from observation, reflection, empathy, communication, psychological insight, patience, and balance.

Let us delve into the dynamics of humour and bring wholesome joy into everyone's lives through mindful joking. Soon, it will become second nature unless we already excel at it, which is a commendable trait.

Cheerio, friends.

Shashi Sastry quality-thinking.com

Consider becoming a Medium member to clap, comment, highlight, and enjoy full access to my stories and those of other fantastic writers. (It’s just $5 a month—give it a try!)