The First Rule of the Post-Ego Club: It Doesn’t Exist

At least not openly in the United States. It's essential to keep these gatherings under wraps for safety.

It's crucial to acknowledge that there are countless fervent religious individuals who might react violently to our activities.

The post-ego concept fundamentally opposes the beliefs of many American religious extremists, making us potential targets.

I maintain a round-the-clock security detail. You might want to consider your own safety before engaging in this.

However, the greatest threat to the post-ego movement comes not just from religious zealots, but from ego-driven individuals.

In fact, there are likely more self-centered individuals in this country than there are religious fanatics.

Many Americans see themselves as the protagonists in a grand narrative, with everyone else merely spectators.

When a group challenges this self-centered worldview, it can lead to a crisis of meaning, resulting in panic and a search for scapegoats.

Naturally, we would be the targets.

This very dynamic led to the swift demise of the Duluth post-ego club shortly after it began.

Enthusiastic members spread the word to their friends and family, sharing writings that some found disturbing and threatening to their established lifestyles.

Family tensions arose. A husband wanted to leave the club, while his wife wished to continue, leading them to discuss divorce.

I was even contacted by the parents of an 18-year-old member who threatened legal action against me.

I decided to step back from the situation.

The Post-Ego Club is No More

I informed everyone of this decision.

In Fact, the Post-Ego Club Never Existed

I sent out an email clarifying this, and all members grasped the irony of it. To truly embrace the post-ego philosophy, one must possess a sharp sense of irony. The Diamond Sutra, an ancient text, encapsulates this sentiment perfectly with lines like:

“What the Buddha refers to as a 'calm and beautiful Buddha field' is not genuinely a calm and beautiful Buddha field. This is precisely why it is labeled as such.”

While it may be true that some gatherings still occur in Duluth and that I occasionally attend, it might also not be true.

This is how post-ego clubs across the nation should function: like phantoms. They should remain "imaginary," perhaps not existing at all. This approach helps evade complications, allowing them to operate beneath the radar.

Alternatively, you might choose not to gather at all.

A Post-Ego Club Could Exist With Just One Member

If you find yourself in a remote area without fellow enthusiasts to join your post-ego club, fear not. Your club should still convene weekly, even if it paradoxically does not.

The moment a group convenes and designates it as a post-ego meeting, they inadvertently create an ego dilemma. Thus, begin the meeting with this statement:

How to Start the Meeting

Open with the declaration:

“We are not gathering. This is not a post-ego club. There is no post-ego. Only ego exists. Ego, ego, and more ego. Hence, how could a post-ego club ever exist? It’s a contradiction.”

Make the Secret Sign

We all then form a hand gesture representing the letter P for post-ego.

Say Your Prayers

Hold this hand sign aloft as you recite the prayer:

“If only we could transcend our egos, oh how wonderful that would be. Yet, alas, it seems impossible. Our egos are like eagles, with such strong talons that when they seize us, they never release their grip. They elevate us into the skies only to let us fall to the earth, where we are crushed. And just when we look up, horrified to see the eagle descending again, it captures us once more. How can we ever escape such a creature? It’s an impossibility. We are mere mice, while the ego looms large with overwhelming power. It will triumph every time. The notion of post-ego is but a fantasy—a dream that will never be realized, longing for a fleeting moment of liberation from this dreadful ego…”

Incorporating some irreverence into the prayer is essential; otherwise, participants might mistake this for a conventional religious gathering and lose interest. A few expletives keep it clear this is not about traditional religion but perhaps a countercultural movement or an artistic endeavor. In reality, it’s more aligned with science.

The prayer continues:

“There exists a slim chance of escape—a flicker of hope. It might be feasible, though likely not. Still, it’s worth the attempt. Perhaps through this post-ego gathering, we might collectively overcome the ego’s grip. But don’t hold your breath. There are no guarantees. You may feel nothing during this ritual, and it could end up being just another disappointment. However, it’s possible that something might resonate. Who knows? Only fate can tell, and we can never decipher fate.”

Then, take a moment to introduce yourself to the person beside you using your imaginary name. Confess to them that you are not real, that you've lived in delusion all your life, and that you’ve suffered through it. Express your hope that this experiment works because, as you know, it can be quite challenging.

That sort of dialogue.

Do a Short Reading

Any lasting literary work can be seen as post-ego in nature. Choose one member to read aloud a passage from Shakespeare, Cervantes, Borges, Homer, Virginia Woolf, or any esteemed poet. This adds an intellectual flair to the proceedings, making participants feel they’re engaged in something significant, which satisfies the ego. By soothing the ego, it becomes less aware of what’s about to unfold.

Then Sing a Song

Singing can further pacify the ego and help create a mystical ambiance. Choose a song that everyone knows and sing it together, preparing for the ritual to follow.

The Ritual

Now, everyone should sit together. It’s crucial to be seated on a chair or the ground, as pressure on the lower spine enhances the experience. Standing may not yield the same results.

All Join Hands

Follow the directives for the braingasm. Allow the sensations at the base of your spine to transmit pleasure signals to your brain. You’re familiar with how to activate that Ecstasy Button, triggering the pleasure response. As your brain receives this signal, sigh audibly. The collective experience of a group braingasm amplifies the pleasure, pushing out all the negativity from your mind. Engage in this for about twenty minutes, then take a breather. Each local chapter must determine how much pleasure they can endure.

Dance

Crank up some lively music and throw a dance party. It’s that simple! After a twenty-minute braingasm, you’re ready to celebrate!

Then, Plan Good Deeds Together

After such a euphoric experience, it’s natural to want to spread that joy.

As my friend, Dr. Eon Enderson, recently wrote, “In Hinduism, there’s a perspective that surpasses dualism, where caring for others becomes intrinsic rather than optional. Perhaps this is what lies beyond or above fate's dominion?”

I had no idea Dr. Enderson identified as Hindu; that was unexpected. Nonetheless, I believe it’s an accurate observation. You should consider organizing charitable efforts, such as distributing sandwiches to those in need. Don’t let this newfound love go to waste; make it meaningful.

Announce the Conclusion

Members of the post-ego movement face mortality every moment.

Declare the meeting’s end and share a moment of silence as you hold hands, acknowledging our collective fate.

Despite all the post-ego club meetings, one fundamental truth remains:

We are doomed. Absolutely doomed.

At least we can share this shared experience with our loved ones.

Then State the Closing Paradox

Paradox is the only truth that post-egoists recognize. Thus, it’s customary to conclude with one:

“Thank you all for not attending today’s meeting, which might have been remarkable had it truly occurred. However, it was merely another illusion. Perhaps one day we will awaken and recall this moment as one recalls a dream. Go in peace. Nowhere and everywhere. Now and never. Amen.”

Following this, let the security team check the parking lot for any potential threats. If everything appears safe, make a quick exit and refrain from mentioning any of this to anyone. Forget it ever happened. Because, in truth, it didn’t!

Good luck!