Series on Self-Correction #18

> “Principles are what allow you to live a life consistent with those values. Principles connect your values to your action.” > — Ray Dalio

Strong principles are not merely formed from teachings or understandings from others; they develop through personal experience. When you truly experience something and internalize it, trust in that principle begins to grow.

Let me share a compelling story about Mahatma Gandhi. To his followers, he was not only a national leader but also a wise spiritual figure whose teachings were deeply revered.

Once, a mother approached Gandhi seeking his help. She said, “I need your assistance; my son is consuming too much sugar, which is detrimental to his health. Could you please advise him to stop?”

Gandhi listened intently, then turned to the child and said, “Please return to me in two weeks.” The mother was puzzled, as she had merely asked for advice, yet he requested a wait of two weeks. She took her child home, confused.

Two weeks later, she returned with her son. Gandhi called the boy forward, looked him in the eye, and firmly stated, “You must stop eating sugar from today onward. It is bad for your health.” The child nodded, promising to change his habit.

The mother, astonished by the simplicity of Gandhi’s advice, inquired, “Why didn’t you say that two weeks ago?” Gandhi chuckled and replied, “Two weeks ago, I was still eating sugar myself.”

This story illustrates a profound truth: the power of words is significantly enhanced by personal experience. Gandhi’s message was much more impactful coming from someone who had overcome his own challenges rather than a mere proclamation from someone still indulging in them.

In life, we encounter various principles shared by parents, teachers, religious leaders, and community figures; however, these principles hold little power unless we have personally experienced them. The same principle can be interpreted differently by different people due to their unique experiences.

To establish strong principles, two processes are essential: experiencing and realizing.

The experiencing process involves actively applying a principle, not just accepting it as a good idea but proving its effectiveness in supporting your best self. On the other hand, the realizing process requires you to pause and reflect, comprehend, and derive meaning from your experiences.

For instance, one principle I live by is that no pursuit in life will ever fully satisfy us. After achieving one goal, I find myself yearning for another. Therefore, the key is not to seek constant happiness but to appreciate each moment of life, recognizing that success and joy are not obligatory at all times.

When sadness arises, I allow myself to feel it; when anger appears, I embrace it. Every emotion is part of this life's journey. Ultimately, life's cycles will always occur; we are not meant to feel comfortable and happy at all times. It is through uncomfortable moments that we truly understand happiness. Without experiencing sadness, disappointment, and other negative emotions, we cannot appreciate joy.

This principle is not something I expect others to adopt; it stems from my personal understanding of life. I began to grasp this when I imagined the delight of dining on steak at a renowned restaurant during financially challenging times.

Eventually, as my circumstances improved, I fulfilled that dream. I relished the experience so much that I vowed to return the following week. However, over time, I realized that the steak I once craved no longer held the same allure. I had moved on to other desires.

This reflection led me to conclude that no single pursuit in life will ever bring complete satisfaction once achieved. When contemplating happiness, I believe there is no ultimate happiness; once we attain it, it no longer feels supreme. Instead, we revert to our previous state of happiness.

If happiness is visualized on a scale of 0 to 10, no one can exceed that limit. Different people may experience varying forms of happiness, but the scale remains constant. A person relishing simple meals can experience joy equivalent to that of a wealthy individual dining in luxury.

God has granted us all the same potential for happiness, albeit expressed differently, devoid of any limitations based on wealth or success.

Moreover, we cannot remain at the highest point of happiness forever; after reaching a peak, it can diminish to a lower level. I began to question who instilled in us the notion of pursuing happiness and comfort. Is happiness truly the ultimate goal in life, or is it a mindset shaped by our environment since childhood?

People often showcase their happiness and comfort, inadvertently influencing us to chase the same ideals. Yet, I believe that just because something feels good does not mean it is beneficial, and discomfort does not necessarily indicate something negative.

There are more important pursuits than merely chasing happiness and comfort. This world is not a paradise; therefore, eternal happiness is unattainable. What brings joy today may not do so tomorrow.

From this line of thinking, I conclude that striving to become the best version of ourselves is a necessary endeavor, reflecting our gratitude for the potential bestowed upon us. Life is not solely about happiness; there are grander purposes beyond that. Nonetheless, when it comes to gratitude and happiness, we all have equal opportunities to enjoy life to its fullest.

Thus, embrace every moment of your journey, not solely the outcomes. Can my principles be flawed? Certainly. Is it possible that I may change my principles in the future? Absolutely.

Yet, based on my experiences, these principles have helped me appreciate every moment of life. Embracing the process rather than fixating on perfection brings me happiness, even amidst life's imperfections. The more we cling to the idea of a perfect life, the more we may feel inadequate. Conversely, by accepting life’s imperfections, we may find a sense of completion.

The freedom to not be happy all the time allows me to value every moment and focus on the more significant goal of personal growth. Through continuous experience and realization, you can refine your principles to foster your growth into the best version of yourself.

Periodically revisit your principles. Test their effectiveness in your life.

Series on Self-Correction #18

Now, reflect on the list of principles you previously identified. Among the 5 to 10 principles, which ones have you personally tested and found effective? Which ones have not?

For those that have proven effective, do you wish to maintain and refine them? If so, write down those principles and include the real-life experiences that underscore their importance in your journey toward becoming your best self.

Take time to ponder this.

For those principles that have yet to be tested, I challenge you to prove one of them over the next 30 days, whether it be a mindset, habit, or lifestyle change. Observe any shifts that guide you towards your best self. If you notice positive changes, consider adding it to your list of principles; if not, feel free to discard it.

Read Series on Self-Correction #17

Read Series on Self-Correction #19