Last year marked the conclusion of a six-year academic journey I once believed was unattainable. Following that, I committed to a demanding leadership role at work that required 65 to 75 hours weekly. This intense schedule encroached upon my sleep, exercise, and self-care routines—essential elements for my well-being—and resulted in elevated cholesterol levels, increased joint pain, diminished quality time with my sons, and PTSD-like symptoms stemming from earlier job experiences.

Despite the daily hurdles, personal sacrifices, and constant adjustments to reclaim precious time, I gradually unearthed moments of joy and enthusiasm in my work. This experience also allowed me to process some of the pain from previous negative job encounters. My ability to serve others grew, leading to a profound sense of fulfillment.

As my commitment draws to a close, I find myself reflecting on my life’s journey. Here are eleven lessons I've learned along the way.

1. Prioritize time for silence, self-care, and personal growth. Engaging in these practices consistently enables you to offer your best self to family, friends, and colleagues.

As a struggling ten-year-old, I began dedicating early mornings to studying. It took five years of this routine to rise from the bottom to the top of my class. Since then, I’ve devoted the first two to three hours of each day to quiet reflection, reading, writing, exercising, and easing into the day before it becomes filled with demands.

2. Lean towards personal grace. Accept your humanity and imperfections. When you make mistakes, acknowledge them promptly and learn from them to avoid repeating them.

Learning to grant myself grace has been one of my most challenging yet rewarding lessons. Growing up in an environment steeped in guilt, I often found myself trapped in self-criticism. Through decades of intentional practice, I’ve started to realize that perfection is not a prerequisite for self-worth.

3. Continuously develop your mind to manage your emotions. As emotional beings, we must remember that our mental choices can enhance our emotional intelligence and regulate our responses.

For me, this is a continuous, moment-by-moment practice. Over time, I have honed the ability to recognize my emotional reactions and understand the perspectives of others. While I am still imperfect, I am becoming increasingly aware, grateful, and resilient.

4. Cultivate a small circle of trustworthy individuals outside of work for genuine transparency and constructive feedback. Relying on colleagues for such support can lead to vulnerability in professional settings.

My core group consists of six people I’ve known for up to 48 years, with only one being in my professional field. They provide honest insights that challenge me to grow. In the past, I let someone from work partially into this circle, which resulted in mutual pain—a mistake I won’t repeat.

5. Emphasize life balance. The notion of work-life balance is often misused or disregarded. Do you work to live or live to work? Prioritize the latter, ensuring a healthy blend of what matters to you.

For me, maintaining this balance means carving out time for silence and self-care daily, while also evaluating my work commitments. I have stepped back from overcommitments three times in my life, choosing to restore balance, prioritize my health, and honor my contracts with proper notice.

6. Regularly ask yourself, “What fears do I have?” and “What’s preventing my progress?” Once you have answers, focus on addressing one challenge at a time, as these issues often connect to various aspects of life.

Some dreams have accompanied me throughout my life, including the successful completion of my academic journey. My sons remind me that it’s time to prioritize my own desires and pursue what I want. Overcoming self-doubt and fear of failure has become a priority for me now.

7. Understand that not everyone will appreciate or welcome you. Maintain your integrity and self-respect regardless of others' opinions.

Recently, after sharing an interaction with a former boss, a trusted friend asked why I chose to assume good intentions despite distrust. My response was simple: I treat others as I wish to be treated, maintaining respect and integrity.

8. Remember that you are not alone. Your challenges, whether minor or significant, are shared by others.

Every time I face significant life events, I encounter individuals who are navigating similar struggles. Sharing experiences fosters mutual encouragement and new strategies for coping.

9. While pursuing upward mobility is commendable, be cautious about an excessive focus on wealth, status, or recognition. These do not enrich the human experience.

I have sought financial stability not for status but to provide for my sons. At one point, I sacrificed my retirement savings to enhance their lives, which taught me humility and empathy for those in economic hardship.

10. Embrace every aspect of life—successes, failures, joys, and sorrows. Welcome them into your heart, learn from them, and then let them go.

Life’s challenges, such as divorce or illness, are integral to the experience. Embracing and releasing these moments allows me to be present while maintaining a broader perspective. This approach has helped me worry less and find joy amid adversity.

11. Continuously seek and create spaces where you can be your authentic self. Become the person you wish to attract into your life, deciding which relationships to nurture and which to release.

By practicing the lessons above, I consistently dedicate time to my personal growth and relationships. Although parting ways with some individuals has been painful, these experiences have fostered greater authenticity within me.

Make an effort to hold onto and practice these principles daily. Regularly applying life lessons can serve as a powerful catalyst for personal development.

Through reflection and daily practice, we deepen our understanding of ourselves and others, fostering growth and openness to learning. May we discover valuable lessons each day, for it is in the journey that we uncover life's treasures and joys.

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