Empowering Reads: 10 Books for Life's Key Areas
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In our quest for self-improvement, we often come across the latest trends and think, “This will be the breakthrough I need.” But does it truly lead to meaningful change?
As a long-time admirer of personal development expert Brendon Burchard, I’ve absorbed much of his philosophy. He frequently emphasizes the importance of weekly journaling on ten crucial life domains: adventure, emotion, family, finances, friendships, health, hobbies, intimate relationships, mission/work, and spirituality. By evaluating his happiness on a scale from 1 to 10 in these areas and setting improvement goals, he seeks clarity and balance to transform his life. For quite some time, I had been eager to adopt this practice myself—and I finally decided to give it a go.
After three months of evaluating these ten life areas (with a month-long break), I wished to proclaim, “This has revolutionized my life!” However, that wasn’t the case.
While I recorded my scores and brainstormed improvements, the sheer number of areas needing attention felt daunting. The result? I struggled to take action on any of them. Although the exercise heightened my awareness of potential improvements, most of the insights weren’t new to me.
Instead of inspiring me to enhance these key life aspects, the weekly assessments diminished my sense of gratitude. I found myself fixated on the need for constant self-improvement rather than appreciating my current situation.
Interestingly, while the assessments didn’t motivate me to act, the books I read profoundly shifted my perspective on these various life areas.
After diving into Find Your People by Jenny Allen, I began to connect with friends more frequently, some even twice a week. From The Book of Joy by the Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, and Douglas Carlton Abrams, I learned about the “helper's high”—the euphoric rush that comes from helping others. This insight encouraged me to be more thoughtful and generous.
These changes weren’t the result of planned actions but flowed naturally from my readings. Consequently, these transformations felt liberating rather than burdensome. The ten books I explored have significantly reshaped my behaviors across these ten essential areas of life.
Adventure
What you are measuring: How much time do you dedicate to adventures, whether through travel or enjoyable outings? Are you disconnecting from routine? Are you allowing time for hobbies and novel experiences?
How this book can help you improve your score: This approach to adventure is quite unconventional. It merges rest with leisure, countering the common belief that leisure is unproductive. Soojung-Kim Pang asserts that “when we rest and let our minds wander, our brains are almost as active as when we’re concentrating on a hard problem.”
Engaging in deep play—like sailing, painting, or mountain climbing—along with intentional rest can elevate your scores. These activities rejuvenate us and inspire us to seek adventures rather than opting for passive entertainment like television.
How it changed the way I act: This book granted me the permission to rest and enjoy activities previously deemed “unproductive.” It was among the first to enlighten me about the consequences of productivity culture.
Emotion
What you are measuring: Do you generally maintain a positive outlook? Are you prone to outbursts? Do you carry stress? Are you intentionally cultivating the feelings you wish to experience? Do you take time to recharge?
How this book can help you improve your score: Many of us live in a constant state of stress, failing to complete our stress cycles. As Nagoski mentions, “you have to do something. One thing for sure doesn’t work: just telling yourself that everything is okay now.” Completing your cycle involves a physiological shift, not just an intellectual one.
This book guides you in finishing your stress cycles and regulating your emotions, helping to prevent burnout and improve your scores.
How it changed the way I act: When emotions surge, I now recognize the need to move my body to release them. For me, this may look like running, punching the air, or dancing wildly. Often, it’s a cathartic scream into the void rather than directing frustration at someone. I also learned the significance of laughter in stress reduction, which I now prioritize.
Family
What you are measuring: Do you feel connected and present with your family? Are you expressing your love? Do you show patience and compassion? Do you forgive each other for mistakes?
How this book can help you improve your score: Gaining insight into how children develop at various stages can enhance your relationship with them. Although focused on toddlers, the lessons apply across ages.
How it changed the way I act: This book transformed my parenting approach, empowering me to grant my young children greater independence. By 18 months, my son was eager to sweep and take out the trash. Without this book, I might have postponed teaching him these tasks. It also taught me to allow them to struggle and explore independently rather than constantly guiding them.
Finances
What you are measuring: Do you feel accountable with your finances? Do you experience guilt after purchases? Are you saving for the future and continuously educating yourself on financial management? Are you satisfied with your current lifestyle?
How this book can help you improve your score: This book presents a fresh take on finances. Instead of accumulating wealth to leave behind, the aim can be to die with zero dollars, suggesting that the best time to spend is while you can enjoy it. As we age, our needs often decrease, and spending becomes less daunting. I’ve always been frugal and found it hard to spend without guilt, but this perspective was refreshing.
How it changed the way I act: It shifted my mindset about spending on experiences, like dining out. Previously, I viewed such expenditures as wasteful, but now I recognize that spending on experiences brings joy in the moment and fond memories later.
Friends
What you are measuring: Are you dedicating enough time to your friends? Do your relationships feel deep and meaningful? Do you feel uplifted after spending time with friends? Are you also supportive of them? Is there someone you can rely on in tough times?
How this book can help you improve your score: Friendships often take a backseat once we start families. This book encourages a reevaluation of how we engage with friends. Building a close friendship requires around 200 hours together, which can seem daunting in busy lives. We must find ways to integrate friendships into our daily routines, especially when time feels scarce.
Though it approaches friendship from a Christian viewpoint, I found the core ideas relevant regardless of faith.
How it changed the way I act: I used to believe that the best friendships were the most convenient. This book taught me that it’s perfectly acceptable for friendships to be inconvenient, and it’s okay to ask for help when needed.
Health
What you are measuring: Are you taking care of your body? Are you getting sufficient sleep, eating well, and exercising regularly? Is your well-being a priority? Do you have enough energy to do more than just the basics?
How this book can help you improve your score: This guide reveals how to optimize your health through food. It categorizes foods—like beans, berries, and cruciferous vegetables—providing scientific backing, recommendations, and preparation methods. I’ve compiled extensive notes on each category, including a checklist of 12 foods to consume daily.
How it changed the way I act: I learned which grains are genuinely whole grains, such as barley, brown rice, and quinoa, dispelling confusion surrounding food labels. Terms like “multigrain” and “stone-ground” can be misleading, as they often do not indicate whole grain products.
Hobby
What you are measuring: Are you curious about the world around you? Do you ask questions and seek to learn about yourself and others? Are you developing new skills? Do you find yourself researching topics of interest?
How this book can help you improve your score: We are familiar with the concept of flow, that state where time vanishes while we work on something we love. This book emphasizes enhancing the quality of our experiences through curiosity. For instance, while doing dishes, one might wonder about more efficient handwashing techniques.
How it changed the way I act: It encouraged me to pause in our hectic lives and dedicate time to hobbies that spark my interest. I now prioritize my passions over my to-do list. While my home may not always be immaculate, my heart feels fuller from engaging in pursuits that ignite my curiosity.
Mission/Work
What you are measuring: Do you feel a sense of purpose? Do you have clarity about your mission? Are you contributing to the world in meaningful ways? Do you feel fulfilled by your work, and does it align with your mission?
How this book can help you improve your score: This is one of my favorite productivity and personal development reads. Each chapter contains exercises to help you achieve your goals. We often mistakenly believe that significant achievements must stem from lofty ambitions. This book reassures us that small, meaningful contributions are equally valuable.
How it changed the way I act: It’s easy to become scattered in our pursuits. This book helped me concentrate on what truly matters. I learned about Prolific Quality Output (PQO), suggesting that 60% of our work should focus on this. For writers, writing is the PQO, steering me away from distractions like social media and newsletters.
Intimate Relationship
What you are measuring: Do you experience a deep bond with your partner? Is the relationship reciprocal and loving? Are you attentive to your partner's needs? Are your interactions characterized by honesty and respect?
How this book can help you improve your score: Written by the author of Burnout, Come As You Are is a must-read. It provides essential insights into sexual health and intimacy, fostering trust and connection.
How it changed the way I act: I discovered that arousal doesn’t always equate to physical readiness, a concept known as arousal non-concordance. Understanding this helped me cultivate patience with my body, positively impacting my intimate life.
Spirituality
What you are measuring: Are you able to be present in the moment? Do your values or faith inform your choices? Does your spirit feel vibrant? Do you sense a connection to a Higher Power?
How this book can help you improve your score: This book encourages appreciation for the present, urging you to truly see those around you. By engaging in actions that foster joy for yourself and others, you can invigorate your spirit. It also explores prayer and meditation to deepen connections with your Higher Power and those around you.
How it changed the way I act: It inspired me to seek joy through interactions with others. I now ask myself, “How can I bring joy to someone today?” This mindset shift motivates me to help others, even when it’s inconvenient, fostering generosity and compassion, even during challenging times.
Though I didn’t achieve the specific results I initially sought, my reading journey transformed my life and perceptions. The overwhelming nature of tracking various aspects posed a significant barrier. If I were to revisit this experiment, I would focus on improving just one area where I scored the lowest, making the challenge more manageable rather than tackling all ten simultaneously.
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