I. AGE AND RELATIONSHIPS

Did you know there are dating apps specifically for sugar mommas?

Cher, at 78, is romantically involved with a 38-year-old, prompting her to reflect on aging. She once wondered, "When will I feel old?" If I were to ponder this myself, my answer would be: not today. After all, isn't age merely a state of mind?

Throughout her life, Cher has chosen younger partners, except for her marriage to Sonny Bono, who was 11 years her senior. She humorously stated that the reason she dates younger men is that “the men of my age are all dead.”

While Cher fits the definition of a cougar, labeling her as a sugar momma may not be accurate since her current boyfriend, Alexander Edwards, is a music executive.

II. DEFINITION OF SUGAR MOMMA

Reflecting on my own experiences, when I first embraced my sexuality, I found myself drawn to older men. However, as I entered my 40s and discovered many of my peers were either in relationships or uninterested, younger men began to show interest—always with an ID check, of course.

To clarify some terms:

• Cougar: A colloquial term referring to a woman who actively seeks romantic or sexual relationships with much younger men.
• Sugar Momma: A wealthy woman who generously spends on a younger partner, typically a man, in exchange for companionship or intimacy.

It's important to note that being a cougar doesn't automatically categorize one as a sugar momma, and vice versa. However, if you identify as a sugar momma, there's a good chance you might also be a cougar.

While sugar daddies are often normalized in society, older women in relationships with younger men frequently face scrutiny.

How often have we seen Cher or Madonna labeled as "too old" for their younger partners?

III. AGE GAP RELATIONSHIPS

In a recent YouTube interview, I watched Rachel, 48, discuss her romance with 25-year-old Alex, whom she met when he was just 23.

Their 20-year age difference clearly positions Rachel as a cougar. After her marriage ended, a friend encouraged her to try a dating app, leading her to Alex.

Initially, she hesitated upon learning that Alex was younger than one of her sons. However, similar to Cher’s experience, Rachel found herself falling for him after a few exchanges.

Rachel noted that while they shared a profound connection, the age gap was still apparent—a refreshing acknowledgment of their reality.

As is common today, the couple operates a TikTok channel, and a humorous video they shared about their age difference went viral. This newfound attention brought both excitement and challenges, particularly with Rachel's family.

Her workplace requested she remove the video to avoid confusion among parents who might mistakenly think Alex was a student. While her younger son accepted Alex quickly, her elder son Ben took more time to adjust.

Gradually, Ben became more comfortable, culminating in a light-hearted YouTube visit where they all enjoyed each other's company.

Rachel voiced her perspective: “There really is no difference in this relationship from a quote unquote normal one besides the fact that I happen to be older than him. Plenty of men date significantly younger women without a second glance, but heaven forbid an older woman finds happiness with a younger man.”

IV. SUGAR MOMMA DATING APPS

While statistics on the prevalence of women identifying as cougars or sugar mommas are scarce, it seems the community is expanding, particularly with sugar dating apps tailored for older women.

One young man featured in a video mentioned earning around $2,500 monthly as a sugar baby, having once received a $2,000 gift just for sending a photo. The majority of sugar baby narratives come from women, as the market is heavily skewed toward sugar daddies.

There are indeed apps for sugar mommas, some of which are available in the Apple App Store, suggesting legitimacy.

One such app, Cougar Dating, explicitly states it does not cater to sugar mommas, declaring:

“Reminder: CougarD is not an app for finding a “Sugar Momma!” Our staff conducts a thorough review of user activities. Any relationships deemed as “sugar baby” or “sugar momma” will result in a permanent ban.”

However, sugar momma dating apps do exist. According to the Chicago Reader, here are the top sugar momma dating apps for 2024:

Top Sugar Momma Sites and Apps in 2024 - 1. CougarLife: Best overall - 2. OurSecret: Judgment-free sugar dating - 3. Adult FriendFinder: Largest community - 4. CougarPourMoi: Best verification - 5. Secret Benefits: Quick matching - 6. SugarDaddy.com: Most transparent - 7. Ashley Madison: Most open-minded community - 8. Elite Singles: Most sophisticated user base - 9. SugarBook: Best for students

V. PERSONAL REFLECTIONS

As I approach 55, I find myself in a committed relationship with a younger partner, who is 46—creating a nine-year difference.

He supports me, but not in the typical sugar baby dynamic; life simply led us here. My previous relationship with a man 20 years my junior ended abruptly when he ghosted me—again, just life happening.

Despite the age differences, I never identified as a cougar or a sugar momma.

A glucose guardian, as a gender-neutral term, describes someone who provides support, often financially, in exchange for companionship or intimacy.

As I shared thoughts on sugar dating on social media, I received a mix of responses, some humorous and others dubious.

Some users expressed interest in having me as their sugar baby, an enticing offer when I'm shopping for dog toys. Yet, at 55, being a sugar baby feels a bit absurd.

While many proclaim that age is just a number, I believe it holds significance—not only in relationships but also in confronting mortality. The passage of time forces us to acknowledge our finite existence, despite dismissive remarks about age.

What are your thoughts on sugar mommas, sugar dating, and the cougar label? Does society impose undue judgment on unconventional age-gap relationships, particularly when the older partner is female?

From my perspective, I've experienced various phases in life and understand that relationships are intricate and unique. Ultimately, the opinions that matter most are those of the people involved.

As long as the relationship is legal and consensual, perhaps we should reserve our judgments for public figures like Cher, Madonna, or everyday individuals like Rachel.

What do you think?

Thank you for reading.

Here are some of my other stories — free reading.