Exploring the Impact of My Alien Abduction Experience
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In the shadows of night, the inexplicable visits by alien entities can haunt a person for a lifetime, leading to questions that often overshadow daily concerns.
LAST WEEK, I DECIDED TO SHARE my story with anyone willing to listen, detailing encounters with small gray beings that invaded my childhood sanctuary. This narrative, which I encourage you to read first, includes all the memories I could muster and the evidence I possess. Now, it’s time to delve deeper.
A Personal Reflection on Alien Encounters
Understanding one's life means recognizing that you are not delusional; something genuine transpired during my youth. I find myself categorized as an experiencer in UFO discussions, a term that feels uncomfortable. It evokes a disconcerting similarity to the term influencer, often used in a media landscape filled with superficial content. Both terms suggest a power dynamic, where one party is exploited while the other does the exploiting. Yet, those who share their experiences often receive little recognition.
My motivation to write stemmed from Bryce Zabel, the passionate founder of Trail of the Saucers. His encouragement to vocalize my experience helped me overcome decades of internal resistance. For nearly sixty years, I had confided in only one family member about those chilling visits. Bryce, being a proactive individual, inspired me to express my truth, despite the anticipated chilly reception.
I braced myself for ridicule, much like I faced at ages eight and nine when I sought help from adults who dismissed my fears. Yet, the time had come to liberate myself from the burden of secrecy and fear. I longed to live my remaining years authentically, without expending energy suppressing my reality. And to my surprise,
> Sometimes, I find humanity unexpectedly heartwarming.
Curiosity Surrounding My Experience
To my astonishment, the reactions to my story—both on Medium and through personal messages—have been overwhelmingly supportive. Social media responses have been largely positive, which was not what I anticipated.
I intended to write as a form of self-therapy, articulating truths I could confidently share. The challenge lay not in the accuracy of my memories, but in conveying concepts that many might struggle to comprehend. Yes, small gray beings did peer through my window and invade my space, leaving a young child terrified and trapped. I was relieved to have captured those memories accurately.
> But who wouldn’t worry that the professionals in white coats might come for me as well?
Surprisingly, that wasn't the case. A few skeptics suggested that my experiences were merely repressed memories of childhood trauma and advised therapy, which I clarified was not the source of my encounters. Others dismissed the photo of the scars on my finger, which, while not perfectly clear, was the best representation I could provide. However, such negativity was minimal.
Rather, I found myself in discussions with people eager to explore what I learned from these experiences. One acquaintance even visited my home to see my scars. Then, I received a message from Bryce suggesting I write a follow-up piece reflecting on the reactions to my abduction account, leading us to this moment.
I have more to share that might seem incredible, but it is nonetheless true for me.
Unraveling the Mystery of "Why Me?"
The recurrent question in life is, *Why me?*
The most common inquiry I receive pertains to why those gray beings chose to invade my room. Was there something about me that attracted these extraterrestrial visitors? One individual even expressed a desire to have such beings visit his own bedroom, which I consider quite unwise.
Honestly, I can only say I don’t know. I have pondered this over the years. I do not represent anyone else's abduction narrative, and as Harvard psychiatrist John Mack discovered, there are countless such stories. I found some solace in his insightful works, realizing I was far from alone.
I can only analyze my own life and the circumstances that set me apart from a more conventional existence. In many ways, my experiences reflect an outsider perspective within Western culture.
Before we delve into even deeper mysteries, I wish to clarify: I’m not trying to deceive you. I share my life experiences because I believe they may contribute to understanding this phenomenon. I can’t speak for others who find themselves in similar situations, but I suspect the factors I share are significant, albeit often dismissed by the average modern worldview.
Over time, I’ve learned that people seek explanations for their experiences, creating narratives that help them comprehend events. We often perceive cause and effect linearly, believing that rational thought is reliable. Yet, the experiences I recount are anything but linear; they defy conventional investigation, leading to their dismissal by the academic establishment, much like UFO sightings.
> Some truths cannot be unlearned, even if many insist they don't exist.
Questions and Answers
Before we move on, let’s address some questions I’ve received.
Q. Did the beings communicate with you? Was there a message? A. No, not that I remember. There was no profound insight or promise of purpose. It felt akin to what a lab rat might experience before a terrible event, with no understanding of the personal nature of its suffering.
Q. Did the experience actually harm you? A. Absolutely. Beyond physical scars and injuries, my childhood turned into a nightmare. No one believed me, which shattered my self-worth and left me anxious and fearful. I felt profoundly isolated, a disconnection that negatively impacted my life for decades.
Q. Did you float up from the bed? A. No, although I felt detached from the pain of my body. Despite being aware of my surroundings, I was paralyzed and unable to escape.
Q. How long did these visitations last, and how frequent were they? A. I can’t specify; it felt prolonged due to the terror. I mostly recall two significant incidents but suspect there were many more over a couple of years. I recognized a pattern, always dreading their return.
Q. Did the beings have any individual traits? What were they wearing? A. To my recollection, they appeared uniform and silent, seemingly aware of each other's actions. I can’t describe their attire, but they emitted a dim glow. Over time, I theorized they were more like drones controlled by an unseen entity, rather than individuals.
> That sums up what I have to share about my abduction experiences.
Diving Into the Unknown
It turns out that you can perceive the imperceptible.
In a November 17, 2021, interview on MysteryWire, Bryce Zabel and George Knapp discussed the perplexing aspect of ufology, often referred to as "woo."
This term, short for woo woo, describes individuals who readily accept supernatural or pseudoscientific phenomena. It serves as a derogatory label for those who acknowledge non-linear consciousness experiences that defy the Western paradigm.
In their conversation, "woo" encapsulates awareness of phenomena that exist beyond material explanations, manifesting as non-linear information. The rigid linear thinking predominant in Western culture excludes these experiences, as they lack validation in a materialistic worldview.
Quantum entanglement challenges this notion, suggesting that events can occur non-linearly. While many engage with the macro aspects of existence, everything exists within a realm of quantum functions, from which all arises. The majority remain unaware of these deeper truths.
If your mind presents flashes of events at a distance, foresight of future occurrences, or knowledge of past events without direct interaction, you’re experiencing "woo." Others may label it as psi or psychic phenomena. Many individuals encounter such experiences at various points in their lives, yet societal norms often encourage dismissal as mere coincidence. The scientific community exhibits zero tolerance for non-linear events, labeling those who discuss them as "woo woo."
My life has been a journey intertwined with an awareness of non-linear information. I didn't fully understand this until a Tibetan lama explained it to me years ago. I now believe there is a connection between our consciousness and the presence of those gray beings at my window.
> What do these intrusive entities seek from our minds? Your speculation is as valid as mine, but I sense they derive some purpose from our awareness that remains unknown to us. I felt exploited.
Full Transparency
What non-linear experiences shaped my life and led me to believe they were connected to those unsettling entities?
From the start of my life, I possessed a form of awareness uncommon in Western culture but frequent in Asia. For brevity, here are a few key points:
- My initial thought as a newborn was, Oh my God, reincarnation is real. I have been reborn. This conviction has remained unwavering. I even recall my conception vividly, feeling a warm, formless state transform into my current existence.
- At the moment of conception, I perceived the entirety of my life unfold as if an accordion had opened, only to slam shut, sealing me into this existence. My immediate reaction was dread, fearing a tumultuous life with no escape.
- As a child, I often dreamt of my previous life, awakening in that reality multiple times. Each time, I was elated to return, but the realization that I had passed away in that existence left me despondent.
- Struggling with my new life, I resisted learning basic skills, like tying my shoelaces. One day, in anger, I effortlessly tied them, only to lose all recollection of my former life, leaving me bereft.
- Dreams of future events persisted into my late teens, often revealing scenarios I would later experience in real life. This created immense confusion, as I navigated situations I had previously visualized.
- In my early twenties, amidst personal turmoil, I encountered phenomena like poltergeist activity, which terrified me even more than my earlier experiences with gray beings.
- Ultimately, a significant event occurred during a remote viewing session in the 1990s, where my consciousness connected with Area 51. I was trapped in a moment of terror, witnessing two individuals who recognized my presence. The identical words spoken to me later echoed from a partner's experience, solidifying my belief in a shared understanding of these phenomena.
I think that captures the essence of my experiences. I’m either genuinely aware in a way that diverges from the majority, or I’m simply delusional. This awareness hasn’t inherently benefited me; much of it occurred unconsciously.
Naturally, I sought understanding through reading various texts on these experiences, exploring religious philosophies, and engaging with psychics. Although I recognized the prevalence of fraud, I still yearned for clarity.
Eventually, I encountered a Tibetan lama who welcomed me with an introduction. Since then, I’ve visited monasteries in India and Nepal, where such experiences are acknowledged.
What I’ve discovered is that many of my challenging psi experiences stemmed from energetic imbalances. With extensive meditation training, I’ve come to differentiate between my past experiences and what I encounter now. These natural cognitive functions can become skewed, especially when confronted by entities capable of bypassing reality.
There you have it. I have no more secrets. Currently, I feel a profound sense of liberation. I no longer conceal my truth and can engage with life as it unfolds. My interactions with various entities, including those gray beings, have prompted me to reflect on whether their actions led me to the path I now walk.
The answers I’ve found are often unexpected and not always where one might anticipate based on prevailing scientific thought. The Western worldview tends to exist in a limited bubble of ignorance, but as the mysteries surrounding UAPs and the unseen world become clearer, perceptions will evolve.
> Don't fret; while the journey may begin with confusion, it eventually becomes more comprehensible. I stand as living proof of this transformation.
> Trail of the Saucers is dedicated to covering UAP news, history, culture, and analysis. It is published by Stellar Productions and edited by writer/producer Bryce Zabel, who co-hosts the popular podcast Need to Know with Coulthart and Zabel, available on all major platforms from Apple to Spotify. Here are some more intriguing pieces from the Trail of the Saucers archives —