Let Go of Grudges Against Your Parents

I held onto resentment towards certain family members for far too long. A friend of mine relocated from Melbourne to San Francisco four years ago and hasn’t spoken to their parents since. They’ve opted for a rebellious look with tattoos and embraced psychedelics, as it’s trendy among their peers.

Over the last few years, I’ve managed to forgive about 99% of my grudges. It feels as though a massive weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I wish someone had told me sooner that harboring anger is futile. Everyone is doing their best. If your parents made mistakes during your upbringing, forgive them; they loved you and did what they could. Perfection is unattainable, especially for ourselves.

The Divide Between Citizens and Tourists in Writing

Writing is a passion of mine, and I’m not alone in this. I refer to those who share this love as the citizens of the online writing community. Regardless of external circumstances, we remain committed to writing and proudly wave our flag high.

In contrast, there are the tourists—those who flit from platform to platform based on the latest trends. They eagerly pursue quick riches but often abandon their pursuits after a short stint, becoming critics who belittle those striving to succeed as writers. Avoid these tourists; they can ruin your creative space. Instead, invest time with fellow enthusiasts who share your devotion and will stand by you even when times get tough.

Regret Follows a Life Without Risks

Having spent a decade in a corporate banking role I despised, I now wish I had been more daring earlier on. I could have taken more risks when the consequences were minimal. Instead of a decade in banking, I could have dedicated five years to it and pursued my writing passion sooner, but fear held me back.

Now, at 37, I recognize that there are two types of risks: those that are mere gambles with no foundation, and calculated risks that can lead to growth. Conducting thorough research allows you to take smart risks without jeopardizing your stability. Often, we cling to what we’ve worked for, failing to realize that it could be recovered within a year if lost. No risks equate to stagnation and boredom.

Invest in Your Health or Face Consequences

As I approach 37, I see my friends aging. Those who partied hard often lack energy, while those who faced relentless stress bear the marks of their struggles. When your body begins to falter, it demands immense time and resources to recover—doctor visits, tests, medications, and more. It’s far more economical to prioritize your health.

How can you do this? Through proper nutrition and exercise. While it may sound cliché, it’s essential. Aging accelerates when we dwell on the past, as noted by Nassim Taleb.

Navigating Opportunities as an Adult

At 20, I was vibrant and sought after, but as I’ve aged, that allure has diminished. Younger individuals can now perform banking tasks better and faster, which means if I wait to be picked for opportunities, I risk being overlooked.

I faced this reality in 2019 when I was laid off and AI resume filters kept me from interviews. My experience and inflated accomplishments suddenly felt irrelevant. Many live like ghosts, with no online presence or published thoughts, lurking in the shadows. When chaos strikes, such as layoffs or economic downturns, they are unprepared and often fall behind.

I wish I’d known at 20 that visibility is crucial. Putting yourself out there, even through writing, can open doors for opportunities. Otherwise, you risk stagnation and pain.

Humility Trumps Habits

I used to engage in repetitive habits that led nowhere. For instance, I spent years creating electronic music without any feedback or iteration, resulting in a decade of unrecognized work without improvement.

Merely repeating actions without reflection is futile. A useful mental model is to feel a sense of embarrassment for who you were a year ago. If not, it signifies a lack of growth.

Settling for Mediocrity is Painful

Most people settle for “good enough”—a job, a partner, a home—living in quiet desperation. I, too, accepted less than what I deserved for years, avoiding entrepreneurship out of fear and remaining in unsuitable relationships far too long.

Dare to demand more from life. Elevate your standards.

The Myth of Habit Formation

People often talk about habits as if they’re a magical solution. However, true change requires urgency. A friend of mine once stated that it only takes a moment of fed-up motivation to establish a new habit.

When I lost a significant part of my savings in 2021, it served as a wake-up call. My wife was concerned, and my business partner thought I’d lost my mind. But that loss ignited a fierce determination within me to recover and avoid returning to a mundane 9-to-5 existence. I did it without fancy systems or costly life coaches—just raw motivation from a catastrophic event.

We All Craft Our Own Narratives

Each of our lives unfolds as a grand story, and we are the authors. The most impactful narratives are the ones we tell ourselves. They can either empower or restrict us.

We can rewrite our stories at any moment, introducing new chapters or plot twists. By embracing the role of the author, life transforms from a series of random events into a sequence of choices we control.

Procrastination Can Sabotage Your Future

I was once a champion of waiting for the “perfect moment.” I would often respond to ambitious goals with “one day” or “someday,” only to be derailed by life’s unpredictability—illness, accidents, job loss. I kept postponing my ambitions.

A helpful approach I’ve adopted is to consider myself as two distinct entities: my present self and my future self. When I hesitate to act, my future self suffers. Learning to take action despite lack of motivation is a transformative skill. The discomfort of routine exercise helps cultivate this resilience, influencing other life areas.

The Most Valuable Things Are Worth the Struggle

At 37, I’ve come to value the efforts that demand hard work. The challenges I’ve faced are what create the stories I share, and the greater the struggle, the deeper my happiness and fulfillment.

Younger generations often view life through the lens of victimhood, believing in unfairness and relying on external figures to resolve their issues. But struggle is a part of being human, and instead of evading it, we should learn to embrace it.

The Power of Self-Reflection

“Self-experimentation, self-development, self-education, self-mastery, self-reliance.” — Dan Koe

A popular sentiment suggests that everything in life is a form of self-improvement. Mastering the concept of “self” allows you to take control of your life, freeing you from relying on others who may not have your best interests at heart.

For too long, I dismissed the importance of self-experimentation, believing I was confined by my introversion and mental health challenges. However, once I began to focus on self-improvement, significant shifts occurred in my life.

Embrace Mortality

In my youth, I rarely contemplated death; it seemed like a morbid thought. Yet, as time passes, I reflect on it more. A poignant realization struck me after the passing of my grandmother three years ago—she was my last grandparent. This made me acutely aware of the cycle of life, where once grandparents depart, parents follow, and eventually, it’s our turn.

I now view the cemetery as a checkout line; the closer we get to the end, the more urgent life feels. This perspective has shifted my appreciation for my wife and child. I no longer take time for granted or assume I have forever to act.

Don’t wait until you’re at the end of the line to make your move; take action while you still have time.

Subscribe to my Substack newsletter to explore more valuable life lessons alongside over 107,000 insightful readers who join me weekly.