Let’s assume I have some wisdom to share for a moment.

I often find myself embarrassed by listicles like this one, yet here I am, creating one.

The discomfort stems from the fact that humanity continuously uncovers the same truths, and each revelation seems fresh.

Perhaps we are drawn to the life lessons shared by others to validate our own discoveries.

I recall a younger version of myself who would have dismissed this notion, believing I had all the answers, while the future version would see an endless path of learning ahead.

I am not here to impart knowledge you haven't encountered before.

This is more of a self-exploration, a way to articulate my thoughts.

I don’t anticipate you will learn something new; rather, I hope some of this resonates with you.

1. If I view things in absolutes, it signals my lack of understanding.

I may have encountered something briefly and convinced myself I had a solid opinion.

Thinking in black and white fails in reality because context is crucial in life.

2. It’s simpler to judge than to empathize.

"It requires less mental effort to condemn than to think." — Emma Goldman

While there are evolutionary reasons for judgment, it ultimately creates a divide, making us feel either superior or inferior to others.

"A man who judges himself inferior, superior, or even equal to another does not understand reality." — Buddha

3. Rationality is mostly an illusion for me.

I navigate a world that demands a façade of rationality alongside others.

Yet, most of my choices and beliefs stem from cognitive biases, inherited ideas, desires mimicking others, and subconscious processing of information that I then justify.

4. My inner processes are constantly evolving.

Don’t expect to reach a fixed point or adhere strictly to the “right” way of thinking or living. Life is dynamic, and there are multiple approaches to every situation.

Practice saying "I’m changing my mind" rather than "I changed my mind." It’s a subtle shift with significant implications.

5. Value quality over quantity in friendships.

Building a friendship requires time. Since connections are forged through shared experiences, investing time in superficial relationships detracts from meaningful ones.

"Remote relationships cost you real relationships. Every minute spent nurturing connections through a screen is a minute not spent deepening bonds with those you can truly engage with." — Nat Eliason

6. Traveling is exhilarating until you realize stability is lacking.

Having spent the last five years traveling and living in Southeast Asia with brief returns to Europe, I sacrificed stability and community.

I have family in one place, friends in another, and a community elsewhere. It feels disjointed.

A fulfilling life necessitates both stability and adventure.

7. Beware of superficial dopamine fixes.

There are numerous distractions that masquerade as productivity and squander your time.

Avoid engaging in mental distractions.

8. Self-worth cannot be earned; it’s innate.

It’s akin to trying to earn oxygen; it simply exists.

Don’t waste time striving for what is inherently yours.

9. Much of the advice out there is overly sanitized.

I’ve touched on this before.

Seek less vague guidance from online sources and more genuine mentorship or community connections with those experiencing similar challenges.

10. Serendipity often appears as skill.

Risk and luck are intertwined. Nothing in life occurs solely due to personal effort. The world is too intricate for your actions to determine all outcomes.

Life is a collaborative dance with the Universe. Don’t be too naïve to recognize that.

11. Most people are not preoccupied with your existence.

This isn’t entirely accurate, as those in higher positions often find themselves scrutinized.

Avoid wasting energy on the opinions of others; if you wouldn’t seek their advice, don’t let their criticisms affect you.

12. Stay attuned to your body.

In a world dominated by external voices, listen to your intuition and physical self.

Trends in diet, exercise, or productivity mean little if they lead you away from your true self.

Following the advice of thought leaders may provide temporary satisfaction but distances you from your authentic self.

13. Exercise caution when offering advice.

Particularly unsolicited advice, as few care about your opinions unless they ask.

Most seek advice to shift responsibility or to convince themselves they want change.

If someone repeatedly asks for guidance but doesn’t act on it, cease providing it.

Similarly, don’t accept advice from those who lack self-awareness; they’re likely to impose their views on you.

14. Life embodies paradox.

"Life is not a problem to be solved. It’s a paradox to experience. You can hold two opposing beliefs simultaneously." — Derek Sivers

Multiple truths can coexist.

15. People reveal more through what they conceal.

Everyone harbors something hidden—fears, insecurities, secrets...

According to the CIA, humans present three faces:

• Public self (how we wish to appear to others)
• Private self (what close confidants understand about us)
• Secret self (the parts we seldom share)

When you judge someone based on their public persona, you often compare it to your private or secret self.

This disparity can be disheartening, as everyone has hidden aspects, including successful individuals.

16. Embrace responsibility.

"There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, the responsibility lies with you." — J.K. Rowling

This realization has been pivotal in my early adulthood.

17. Engage in therapy or coaching.

"You can’t read the label from inside the jar." — Jordan Gray

You cannot fully perceive yourself. A good therapist or coach can help reveal your blind spots.

18. Meditate to explore reality.

Nothing is as it seems. Everything consists of consciousness, and there’s no separation between you and your surroundings.

This isn’t just philosophical; it’s something you can observe for yourself.

"The greatest crime is overlooking who you really are in favor of the story of who you think you are." — Wu Hsin

19. Others can fulfill your desires.

Can anyone else meet my needs?

Yes, if I accept what works for me and let go of the rest, I invariably find what I seek.

20. Humanity is chaotic.

My reflections on humanity are best expressed by George Bernard Shaw:

"The longer I live, the more convinced am I that this planet is used by other planets as a lunatic asylum."

21. Regularly assess the people in your circle.

You truly are a reflection of those around you; their mental frameworks influence yours.

Spending time with someone equates to integrating their perspectives into your own.

22. Everything you encounter shapes you.

Like building blocks, every seemingly minor detail contributes to your overall experience.

"Everything you ever sense, in touch or taste or sight or thought, has an effect on you greater than zero." — Gregory David Roberts

Be mindful of what you consume.

23. Health is your primary wealth.

The best health decisions I made include: - Stopping alcohol consumption at 22 - Staying active - Prioritizing sleep - Eating in accordance with my body’s needs rather than societal norms - Resuming meat consumption after being vegetarian for eight years

24. This too shall pass.

An ancient adage, yet still relevant.

Consider the most challenging experiences from your past—where are they now?

Reflect on your happiest moments—where do they reside?

Even your thoughts as you read this will fade.

Life is transient; remain adaptable.

25. Understand your core values.

If you lack clarity about your purpose or desires, someone else will dictate them for you.

"If you don’t choose what you worship, it will be chosen for you, for everyone worships something." — David Foster Wallace

26. Cultivate friendships with older individuals.

They possess more experience and wisdom (though this may not hold true for everyone).

Additionally, they are not your parents, making you more receptive to their insights, even if they mirror your parents’ advice.

27. Avoid complaining.

Because, honestly, it doesn’t matter.

The sooner you grasp this, the better it will be for those around you.

You’ll also feel better about yourself; plus, complainers attract fellow complainers.

28. Our instincts about happiness are often misguided.

The belief that "I will be happy when..." is a common illusion.

Once you achieve something, the bar keeps shifting.

Our predictions about happiness (like winning the lottery) often fall short, while we underestimate the impact of negative events (like a car accident).

"You can’t get happy; you can only be happy." — Werner Erhard

29. Trust in yourself.

It’s one of the few things that can’t be taken from you.

Invest in building trust and confidence. Aim to be supportive, reliable, and appreciative of who you are.

• Respect yourself
• Engage in kind self-talk
• Listen to your authentic inner voice
• Trust that you can navigate challenges and recover from setbacks

30. Everyone serves as a reflection of you.

How you perceive and treat others mirrors your self-perception.

Further thoughts: - When making decisions, ask yourself, "Will I be glad I did this?" - You never know what someone else is enduring, so practice kindness. - Honesty with yourself and others fosters truth, connection, and authenticity. - You owe nothing to anyone; choose to give out of love, not obligation. - Contemplate mortality to gain perspective.

I must emphasize that I have never lived these lessons perfectly every single day over the past 30 years.

At times, I embody these principles closely, while at other moments, I stray far from them.

I feel transformed compared to a year ago—and even more so from the person I was at 20.

Perhaps that’s the essence of growth: you add bits of wisdom to the structure of your life until your time comes to an end.

What happens in between is up to you.

With love, Rima