Understanding Discomfort: Insights on Resilience and Growth

In this reflective series, I aim to share my personal journey and insights, emphasizing that I don’t possess any magical solutions.

What I can provide is a glimpse into my experiences—what I’ve learned, what I’m still discovering, and the struggles I continue to face despite my best efforts. My wish is that by sharing these experiences, you might feel less isolated in your own journey.

Over my four decades of life, I’ve identified six foundational principles that guide my personal growth and interactions with the world around me. These principles serve as anchors when I find myself veering off course or straying from my purpose:

Sit in Your Discomfort (this article)
Embrace Boredom
Be Curious
Choose Connection over Conflict
Surrender to Uncertainty
Value Creativity over Consumption

These tenets remind me to live thoughtfully, empathetically, and authentically. They act as my compass, helping me navigate challenges while fostering a deeper connection with my experiences, ranging from relationships to personal development.

I invite you to explore these guiding principles with me. Through thoughtful reflections, I’ll reveal how I apply them in my life, and we’ll learn together along the way.

If you seek thoughtful companionship during times of change and uncertainty, I encourage you to engage with these reflective discussions—there may be new insights to uncover.

If this resonates with you, I appreciate any comments, applause, and shares with those in your circle.

#1 Sit in Your Discomfort The Struggle of Staying Still ------------------------------------------

I’ve always found it challenging to remain still. Even as a child, I was restless, unable to keep my seat during writing assignments. I would fidget, bite my nails, and tug at my hair—anything to escape the discomfort of being still.

While I’ve matured since those days, I still catch myself fidgeting when I write. Admittedly, I’ve stepped away from my desk multiple times while composing this piece—not out of frustration, but to escape the discomfort of my thoughts, only to find myself distracted by trivial tasks instead.

It’s easy to get sidetracked by the pressing demands of the day, even if they aren’t urgent. I often create task lists only to leap from one task to another, distracted by whatever seems “urgent” at the moment. Despite my efforts, no tool or technique has helped me overcome this tendency.

Overwhelmed by Sensation

My distractions often stem from within rather than from external sources. I possess a heightened awareness of my body, constantly scanning for discomfort like a vigilant surveyor. This tendency was honed during my time as a theatre major, where physical awareness is crucial.

In graduate school, I delved into the world of acupuncture and integrative medicine, deepening my understanding of both Eastern and Western medical practices. I learned about human anatomy and physiology, which only heightened my awareness of bodily sensations.

This knowledge can be both enlightening and burdensome, as the slightest discomfort can trigger catastrophic thinking, pulling me away from the present moment. It’s a common instinct to flee from pain, but what if the discomfort we face is not physical?

The Pursuit of Happiness

Often, we keep ourselves busy to escape painful emotions or overwhelming thoughts. Society frequently encourages us to seek happiness, but what do we overlook in that pursuit? When I engage in tasks that offer me joy, I sometimes realize I am avoiding deeper issues.

For instance, I find solace in cleaning and organizing, as it provides a sense of control and accomplishment. However, this can be a form of procrastination—an avoidance of difficult emotions tied to tasks that feel daunting.

While distraction may offer temporary relief, it denies us the chance to confront our discomfort. Yet within these moments lies an opportunity for significant personal growth. Embracing discomfort—whether emotional or physical—invites us to confront our vulnerabilities and expand our comfort zones.

This process of introspection is crucial for personal development, revealing insights I might not have expected. It equips us to better navigate life’s uncertainties, though it requires conscious effort and may take time to master.

Facing the Bear

Disclaimer: I’m not a bear expert, nor have I encountered one in the wild. Please don’t take my analogy as advice.

When faced with a bear, it’s vital to resist the urge to run, as this can provoke a chase response. Instead, you should stand tall and make yourself appear larger.

Sitting in discomfort is akin to confronting a bear—it requires bravery. While fleeing from difficult emotions may seem like the easiest choice, sometimes we must stand firm, allowing ourselves to learn more about our reactions.

Sitting with discomfort cultivates resilience, teaching us that we can endure and adapt to an ever-changing world. Like any skill, this practice demands ongoing commitment and can take a lifetime to fully embrace.

When I find myself busying my mind to evade painful feelings, I try to pause and reflect.

Reflection and Inquiry

Where are you? What are you doing?
How did you arrive at this moment?
What are you feeling?
What are you avoiding? What does that signify for you?
What would it mean to confront it?
What might happen if you chose not to?

With these questions, I gain clarity and face a choice: 1. Continue with my current distractions 2. Return to the source of my discomfort.

This process isn’t as simple as it sounds. Over time, I’ve learned to recognize the discomfort I tend to avoid, akin to building muscle through awareness. This journey can foster greater empathy toward others and equip us to handle life’s complexities with an open heart.

So, what’s next? The next time you catch yourself avoiding a challenging task or conversation, take a moment to pause and reflect.

See how close you can get to understanding your discomfort. And remember, it’s not as daunting as facing a bear.

Ready for Part 2?

Embracing Boredom and The Beauty of Empty Space. Part 2 of a 6-part series for anyone who feels adrift and needs direction. erickerr.medium.com

If you found value in this piece, please share it with others who might appreciate it, and feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments!

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Extra Credit

Check out the Ten Percent Happier podcast for insightful discussions and guided meditations that can seamlessly fit into your daily routine.

How to Stay Cool No Matter What | Bonus Meditation with Matthew Hepburn Listen to this episode from Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris on Spotify. open.spotify.com

About the Author

Eric Kerr is a workplace strategist, experience designer, writer, and digital creator based in Los Angeles, currently exploring new professional opportunities. He approaches AI technology with a critical eye, examining its intersection with human experiences through his online publication and creative brand, A Human in the Loop.